Engaging Women in Meaningful Conversations Makes Community

My second and third meaningful conversations were done in tandem. I met these two ladies at my neighbourhood coffeehouse on a beautiful spring morning outside on the patio. I first noticed the dog that belonged to one of them, who was whining while his owner was inside getting him a Vente water – sustenance while the two friends could settle in to some time to chat together. They were more than happy to spend some of their time with me, an intrigued stranger.

I quickly found out that we all shared a passion around running and that is how these two women met and became friends. Shared experiences had brought them together. And they had very different responses to my questions, based on their own unique experiences in their life. I’ll post their answers in two separate posts, to honour the individuality of each of them.

What are you most proud of?

“My children.”

What makes you happy?

“My kids – if my kids are happy, then I feel happy. If they’re having a hard time it affects me – totally. Yeah, so if they’re happy, I’m happy. That’s my answer.”

I wish I had…

“Well right now I’m looking for a part-time job so I wish I had a part-time job. I’m sending e-mails out galore and nothing’s coming back, not even an interview. So, yeah, I wish I had a part-time job right now… that works with my kids’ schedules.”

What makes you sad?

“I gotta relate this to the kids again. What really gets me sad is when things are not working well with my children. My oldest is very complex, she’s a worrier, she gets very stressed and that affects me. She came home at Easter and I had to put her back together again. She lost her wallet. She was sick. The marks were low – she’s at university, second year.”

What do you fear?

“I fear any of my loved ones getting sick, or myself. I have a fear of that. I lost a girlfriend to pancreatic cancer, it will be a year ago in August. So be involved in all that, going to those treatments with her and seeing all that. It can happen to anybody. I don’t want any of my loved ones to go through that – I saw my friend fight a battle with pancreatic cancer and it was a hard battle… two years. She kept believing she would be the one to conquer it, even with the statistics being as bad as they are… I would be sitting there with her and take in all the people sitting there going through treatments, you know, the nervousness on their faces. They were just going about their business when all of a sudden they were diagnosed with something like that. You know sometimes you don’t even feel poorly and then someone says to you, Oh, you’re sick…”

What inspires you?

“To be a good Mom – my Mom is an inspiration to me. She’s still living, she’s 79. She’s a fantastic Mom. So she inspires me – how she raised me to be a good mom for my kids.”

Who is your hero?

“Well my friend was my hero, the one that died. She had such an impact on my life. We were friends for forty years. She’s gone now and she’s still my hero, every time I think about her. I’m proud of the way she handled everything, the whole cancer thing – she was so courageous.”

What do you long for?

“You know when I say a prayer or make a wish, I ask that my family is safe, healthy and happy. That’s what I long for – that we’re all safe, healthy and happy. What more could you want. If you have all that, you don’t need more.”

My best advice is…

“Do what makes you happy.”

What question should I ask you now?

“Do you think we’re kind people? Because I think we are – after listening to our answers. We are. I can see how she and I are bonding more and more because we have similar personalities and have a lot in common. We have a shared experience together.”

I was struck by this last part with this woman. I believe there’s a part in all of us that wishes our kindness to be known. To be able to share that. I hope my questions, and more importantly their witnessing of each other in answering them, had a way of strengthening the bond between them. Another shared experience to strenthen the bond of friendship between women and to strengthen us to be good Moms to our children.

Four Years. Go.

The name of a campaign for transformational change for our planet. It was launched in March and rather than use my own words to describe it, I’m going to share the description from the press release issued on March 19:

“A global educational and awareness campaign rolled out this week, with the bold vision of changing the course of history— to shift humanity onto a sustainable, just and fulfilling path by 2014: FOUR YEARS. GO….

…FOUR YEARS. GO. is not a new organization. It is a goal—a rallying call—for a growing worldwide coalition of organizations and individuals with deep commitments to producing a transformational shift for humanity. Already, more than 500 additional organizations have become part of the campaign, and that number grows daily.

The intent is to foster a self-organizing, emerging open-space of collaboration and creativity among individuals, NGOs, companies and communities, to ignite a movement. And, for that movement to catalyze a newly vibrant world of wildly diverse and inspired initiatives to co-create a transformed human future.

This will be achieved through millions of individuals and thousands of organizations around the world becoming partners in, and creators of, the FOUR YEARS. GO. campaign. Individuals will declare themselves as “change agents” for a new future. And they will begin a personal hero’s journey that will start by taking the simple steps right in front of them, via the FOUR YEARS. GO. website (www.fouryearsgo.org).

Organizations will be encouraged to explore and commit to the most exciting and impactful social/environmental improvement projects that they can imagine and fulfill within the next four years—trimtab projects that will, collectively, cause a positive tipping point in humanity’s trajectory…”

WOW. This is just one of many movements I’ve noticed lately that are inviting us as citizens of the world to own our individual responsibility for the world we are a part of.  It’s about little steps that collectively have a big impact on transformational change in our world.

Watch the two-minute video here.

I’m inspired. I’m moved. I’m committed. Are you?

Today marks the beginning of meaningful conversations; E=mc2 begins in an intimate apparel store of all places. After sharing the experience of purchasing something that fits, and noticing an otherwise empty store, I began my quest. With her expertise in the area of bra fittings, the young woman I interviewed already exhibited the willingness to engage in an exchange on a more intimate level. I fumbled my way through the first couple of questions all the while enjoying the look of curiosity on the face of this young woman.

Question 1:  What are you most proud of?

“Um. Probably my relationship with my family – we’ve come a long way.”

Question 2:  I wish I had…

“Gotten into school earlier so I wouldn’t have to be working all the time now. I’m going into school in September for nursing. I wish I had gotten into school earlier, but still worth it.”

Question 3:  What makes you happy?

“Lots of things. Being around people that are happy. Doing things I like doing. Lots of different things, I can’t pinpoint one thing in particular.”

Question 4:  What makes you sad?

“Of course, ummm lots of things make me sad. Again I can’t pinpoint one thing in particular. I’m reallly bad with coming up with something on the spot. Hmmmm. Sad movies, I don’t know. I’ll have to pass on that one.”

Question 5:  What do you fear?

“Heights. I am terrified of heights. The fear of falling has always been a fear of mine. I’ve challenged myself a little bit with going on rides…”

Question 6:  What inspires you?

“My mom. She is a nurse too. She has inspired me to do something.. I want to be a nurse, not because she’s one but I want to do it. She’s been through a lot, she’s definitely an inspiration for me. Yes, my Mom.”

Question 7:  Who is your hero?

“My mom – she’s an inspiring hero.”

Question 8:  What do you long for?

“I guess a more stable life, where I have a good job, where I’m done school. You know a time in my life where I’m more settled.”  I notice a deep breath, a pause and a long sigh.

Question 9:  My best advice is…

“Um, listen to what you’re told to do like when people tell you to stay in school, do your homework, get things done when you should because then you end up taking a couple extra years longer and it’s kind of like something you regret doing, you know. That’s my advice for younger people and older too, you know, to finish things that they’ve wished they could have finished earlier in their life.”

Question 10:  What question should I ask you now?

“I don’t know. those are all pretty good questions, that make you think. I can’t think of anything, I’m so bad at this…”

So I ask, what do you love about your job?

“I like the people that I meet and I like the girls that I work with. I’ve met a lot of good people here, a lot of new friends and it’s a good place to be right now while I’m waiting to go to school. Definitely a good environment for me and I’m here all the time, everyday, saving up money to go to school.”

“Thank you” she said “You made me think” and I encouraged her to continue the conversation with her friends and loved ones. She said she would.

As I’m writing this post, I’m struck with remembering the younger version of myself reflected in this young woman. She’s choosing a path with hopes of becoming more settled in her life, with a good job and space to breathe. I remember how that’s what I wanted too and found it satisfying for a while. Then that space had a way of opening up me up to something more. Life is an evolution. We grow and evolve. We rest for a while and take it all in. Then we notice that niggle that says there’s more. Sometimes we listen, sometimes we don’t.