Posts Tagged ‘Meaningful Conversations’

Meaningful Conversation #7: My Mom

Posted by Trish Petersen on June 18, 2010 under E=mc2

I took the opportunity this week to engage in a meaningful conversation with my Mom.  My conversations with her recently have been focussed on my Dad’s declining health and caretaking needs as they find themselves in a new stage of life.  They have recently decided to sell their home and move to the city where they will have easier access to the care and services they need and be in a home that has minimal upkeep and is all on one level.  Very wise.  Very pragmatic. Very much focussed on what is needed in any given moment.  And I felt the need to stop for a moment with my Mom and hang out in the place of curiosity.  She was happy about the opportunity to be asked these questions, to have the conversation focussed on her and to share what she is about.

What are you most proud of?

Of my family – that’s the first thing. I’m so proud of every one of you – no exceptions. And perservering through struggles and challenges.

What makes you happy?

That everybody is healthy and that I’m healthy. With your Dad, I take it day by day.

What makes you sad?

Immigrating to Canada (from the Netherlands); leaving everyone and everything behind. The emotion is still there after all this time.

I wish I had…

Oh, I don’t know. I don’t wish for much. I wish I had learned how to drive a car.

What do you fear?

Moving into a new home. It’s a big step. But I can do it. I feel positive about it. I know it’s the best for both of us. I’ll have more independence there.

My best advice is…

Stay true to yourself. Try to do your best. And don’t hurt yourself by looking back too much and falling into regret. The good things overpower the bad. My life is good. Beautiful little Hailey (her new great-granddaughter) brings me a lot of happiness.

What inspires you?

To be outside. To enjoy nature. I learned a lot from your Dad. He taught me to appreciate nature.

Who is your hero?

I think your Dad is.

What do you long for?

That we may be together for a long time yet. Dad has such a good heart, in both ways. I’m so lucky. I enjoy the simple things.

What question should I ask you now?

What’s your main thing in life? It’s my family – it has been my life, my purpose.

Simple.  Pragmatic.  Focussed.  That’s my Mom.

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Meaningful Conversation #6: Clean and Free Living

Posted by Trish Petersen on May 14, 2010 under E=mc2

Engaging Women in Meaningful Conversations Makes Community

On this beautiful spring day, I decided to spend some time at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Burlington, Ontario. The lilacs were in full bloom and I wanted to treat my senses. There I was in a grove of lilac bushes, with over 800 different cultivar taking in the different purples, blues, whites and greens and wishing there was a way to capture the delicious fragrance that are so unique to lilacs. I was so grateful to have taken the moment to slow down and take this all in. I commented to a woman next to me that I wished I could somehow bottle the smell. This turned into an education about cancer prevention that I wasn’t expecting and was willing to hear. The woman’s name was Jennifer, a member and regular visitor of the RBG and someone with a mission to educate people about the chemical toxins that are in all of our consumable products – the food we eat and the personal care products we use. She shared with me a past experience that taught her that sometimes a negative turns into a positive. When she was 18, she was in car accident that should have claimed her life but she was spared. She was driving her father’s car wrecklessly, wishing it was the convertible her friend’s father had just bought her. Looking back, she knows that it was her father’s choice in vehicles that saved her life. At this point in her life she has taken up the purposeful task of educating people on cancer prevention and wishes to someday write a book about all of the information she has uncovered. She is a role model for chemical-free living and limits her own exposure to cancer-causing agents by consuming only natural and organic products.

What are you most proud of?

To be honest, I missed this question. And I wish I had asked it. This woman had a great sense of pride about her, a countenance that spoke of purpose, clarity and determination. Much to be proud of and yet I wonder what stands out most for her.

I wish I had…

“I wish I had my own swimming pool like I used to have. I wish I had more friends in my condo. I wish I had 5 pounds off but then I look at very overweight people and I think well… I wish I had a man in my life that doesn’t want to move in, ‘cause I don’t want them moving in. I wish I had a sister who was talking to me – we’re not talking right now. She lives 10 minutes from here but we don’t see each other. You notice there’s nothing I’m wishing for that’s related to money and material things are not a part of that either.”

What makes you happy?

“Being here – being right here makes me happy. For every person I reach with this cancer prevention information makes me happy. I can’t control what people buy but I can give them the information and they can make the decision from there. So that’s what makes me happy.”

What makes you sad?

“My son lives in Toronto and I don’t get to see him as much as I’d like. But he was living in England and then he came back to Toronto, that made me happy. Sad… hmmm… I don’t know, not a lot of things make me sad.”

What do you fear?

“Flying and I used to travel a great deal. I fear the holocaust that we’re living in. People are being poisoned every day and I want to help them, I want to educate people. I want to teach. That’s basically what I fear. Ummm, snow storms – I feel trapped inside. I fear things that are going on in the world and I hope they don’t affect Canada, like tsunamis, earthquakes, natural disasters that are going on in the rest of the world. I don’t dwell on it – I just hope it doesn’t happen here.”

What inspires you?

“The fact that I’ve got good health and I’ve got energy to do what I want and go where I like. I’m seeing a good play tomorrow – so concerts and plays, good movies, stuff like that and coming to the gardens. And talking to people – I love it.”

Who is your hero?

“God, God is my hero. And my Dad, I think he was my hero. He didn’t get that convertible. And now that I could get one, I don’t even want one. They’re not that safe and imagine a woman alone driving a convertible, anyone can get into the car at any time.”

What do you long for?

“A man in my life that doesn’t want to move in with me. I don’t want someone with me all the time. I need space, my independence.”

My best advice is…

“Take the information that I have for people and not buy those products. To live a clean, chemical-free life and de-tox everyday with lemon juice and water. That would be my best advice: to figure out a way not to buy these products.”

What question should I ask you now?

“I don’t know. I think you’ve covered it all.”

I appreciate all of the information Jennifer had to share. I found some of it pretty overwhelming to be honest and was conscious of her impact on me as well as my experience of sensory overload from the lilac grove. The care and keeping of ourselves and our loved ones is a priority. There’s a lot of information out there. We can’t possibly take it all in and it’s a good thing we have people like Jennifer who share what they know.

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Meaningful Conversation #5

Posted by Trish Petersen on April 30, 2010 under E=mc2

Engaging Women in Meaningful Conversations Makes Community

This week’s conversation reminded me of one of the reasons I started this project.  To me, what’s important is asking the questions that are so seldomly asked.  It’s about inspiring the idea of more meaningful conversations in the world between women.  My hope is that I’ve inspired that with the woman I had a conversation with this week.  What caught my attention with her was how engaged she was with her baby as she played with him and talked to him.  She was a beautiful example of a new mother, completely absorbed in the moment with her child.  I approached her and explained a bit about my E=mc2 project and she agreed to answer my questions, with a caution that if the questions got too personal she wouldn’t answer them.  We agreed that it was her choice to offer any comment.

What are you most proud of?

Wow. I guess my son. He’s my first. Yes.

I wish I had…

I wish I had time to travel. Right now it’s just him and…

What makes you happy?

My family.

What makes you sad?

When I see my family unhappy.

What do you fear?

I wouldn’t be able to answer that.

What inspires you?

I guess nature.

Who is your hero?

I’d say my Mom.

What do you dream of?

I won’t be able to answer that

My best advice is…

To be happy.

What questions should I ask you next?

I wouldn’t be able to answer that one either.

I have to admit that following this conversation I wondered if the questions I was asking were too probing or did I simply intrude on a moment between a mother and her child.  As a coach, I live in the land of these conversations regularly with my clients. And I was struck with how uncommon it is to have these kinds of questions asked of us.  It’s verging on radical.  Some may find the questions too probing. And I’m not going to change a thing about the questions I ask because I know that somewhere within each of us is a desire to be known on a deeper level. To share things about ourselves that are meaningful – if not with a stranger, then with a loved one.  And if not now, then sometime later down the road on our journey.

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